Goals, Living with Autoimmune Diseases, Nutrition

That WEIGHT-LOSS Life, though…

2018-09-25_18-57-09_102Want to know the CRAZIEST thing about losing weight?  (truth: you are here, so I am going to assume THAT is a yes!)

You don’t get to stop.  Like, YOU HAVE TO keep going, or the entire process just becomes a big FAT FLOP (pun intended, pun accepted, pun befriended).

If you have read my story, or followed me for a minute, you know that somewhere in my almost-30th year of life, I tipped my scale at over 300 pounds.  303, to be exact…and the truth here is that this number COULD HAVE BEEN higher at one moment, or not, but the DAY that I started and drew my line, I weighed 303 pounds.  That number CRUSHED my soul.  That number BROKE my heart.  That number MADE ME determined, AF.

Funny truth about losing weight:  You don’t drop it instantaneously!  (I know, truth bomb!) It actually takes a LOT of work to get rid of that excess weight that seemed SO EASY to creep on!  So easy to eat into stupor.  So easy to drink down in warm, sweet beverages.  So easy, right??!

Except, weight is one of the TOUGHEST things to deal with, in this life.  (did I mention these are my personal beliefs? k. thankzzzz)

Weight gain can be a mind FCK.  It can really mess with our self-worth, -esteem, -love, -perception, -happiness…..etc…blah, blah, blah.  And, honestly, it is so personal that I cannot tell you HOW to overcome THAT part.  I can give you a meal plan and set you up with fitness that will change your life, and absolutely could “fix” some of the thoughts that run through a 303 pound person’s mind, but it is not a cure-all…..and here is why:

We are conditioned to look at beauty through the eyes of product placement, styled icons, and paid professionals.  Beauty is not revered for thought, but visuals.  With this way of thinking, (back-asswards), we have a limited view of our own possibility.  Now, I won’t be one to BLAME media, or Hollywood, or whoever, because I am a grown-ass adult-child that can figure out some of the shit I have believed and sift through it enough to pick and choose what is worth keeping and what needs to be dumped off to the next generation.  Self-worth does not come to us in the form of a magazine, social media account, or even blog post.  It just doesn’t.  It never will, and as soon as we unplug and FOCUS on how we can love ourselves through the bullshit we believe, then we are GOLDEN.

303 pound Nicky believed she needed to be “skinny.” (point blank) She had soaked up years of MTV, VH1, E!, magazines, and reality TV to see what importance looked like, and she was sure that she deserved to feel some of it, so she set about trying to figure out how to get her piece of the pie.

She counted calories.  That was the BIG SECRET.  But, she counted them in a way that left SUCH a deficit everyday that weight began pouring off.  First four months, 50 pounds gone.  Next four months, another 30.  It became a game.  How many calories can I have left at the end of my day?  Lose It! was my drug.  Special K was my dealer.  I was set.   Except, I wasn’t….because NOTHING had changed.  I was one of those IG accounts you see where they show their hard-ass workout, and then go eat a shitty donut.  Yeah, that was me.  I was still eating SHIT food, just in LESS amounts to stay below my calorie goal for the day.  I lost weight, but my relationship with food was still not “healthy” and my body was still battling rheumatoid arthritis like a boss.

Hey girl, let me tell you about diets.I have NEVER told myself that I am on one.  Not once.  I don’t consider what I did then a diet, nor do I think how I eat now is a diet.  FOOD IS FOOD. You need it to survive.  It is THAT connection to naming it something OTHER than what it is that gives us the FCKed mentality around how we FEEL when we fuel our bodies.  You want to fuel yourself with Cheetos and Mt. Dew??  Cool.  That is HOW you eat, not a diet.  You want to eat kale and steam up some sweet, ass broccoli?  Great!  Again, your fuel is pretty good, but your diet??  Well, that is in the MIND.

The BIGGEST piece of advice I have for anyone who wants to change their weight, take control of their life, and eat differently is to STOP saying diet.  If you can SEE yourself eating a certain way for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, it is a lifestyle, it is sustainable, it is just how you live….it doesn’t have to be a diet.  A diet means temporary….like, yeah-I-will-try-this-for-the-next-three-months-but-then-I-go-back-to-cheeseburgers-and-fries. NO.  What about working in a LIFESTYLE (follow me here) that affords you the guilt-free feeling of eating things you want, along with things you know make you FEEL healthier, and just eating REAL DAMN FOOD, skipping some of the processed stuff, and leaning into water and vegetables as life?  Then that cheeseburger is an option, but so is kale.  Then candy during a movie is cool, but so is eating a giant salad at the restaurant beforehand, so you might not even WANT the candy…..have you ever wondered about that concept?  Understanding how hunger feels within our bodies??  It is trippy!

I absolutely do not post this to chastise anyone.  Truth is, no one else’s food plan affects my life.  You want to eat cheese all day and focus on bacon as a major food group?  Great, go for it.  You only want to eat rice and beans?  Okay, fun.  I eat a very specific way NOW because I have learned the POWER that food has within my body….it can keep my inflammation-levels down, allowing me to remain medication-free, keeping me more lean in size, and fueling me for activities I like to pursue.  It is absolutely not my-way-or-the-highway.  I am an open book, but I am also open to flexible nutrition because every single BODY is so different.

My only piece I will ask you to consider is this:  Can WHAT you are currently eating sustain you for your LIFETIME, healthfully?

Food for thought:  I work with individuals to HELP them write their FOREVER food plan.  That is my job.  I freaking love it because investigating, problem-solving, and REALLY helping people find their best fit is so exciting.  It is freeing, it is rewarding, and it changes the world….one meal at a time.  My clients still eat (AND ENJOY–without guilt!) pizza, ice cream, cake, candy, baked items….you name it.  We work together to focus on removing the shame-stigma that comes with food, and re-position the relationship with each meal.  This work is meant to really bring that food freedom, but not give you a feeling of failure when you eat something that is not compliant….there is no such thing as ‘not compliant.’  Nothing is off limits, because nothing has a level of “good” or “bad.”  Food is fuel, and has no capacity to own behavior-characteristics.  It either fuels us one way or another, but there is no “cheating” involved.

Wouldn’t it be nice to experience this type of eating?

Well, bunny, you can!!!

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