Goals, Mindset, Nutrition, Pushing Play, Recipes, rheumatoid arthritis, weight loss

Confessions of an Accountability Coach

I cannot make you MOVE from the stuck spot you feel you are in.

I cannot give you the gumption to not quit.

I cannot motivate you to be disciplined.

I cannot wrap up your goals and hand them to you on a silver platter.

Working with humans who have BIG triple P is tough…oh, and triple P is this:
Prior Programming Paralysis.

BLESS.  I truly want to save each and every human from the confines of THEIR doubts, worries, fears, limiting beliefs, the old attachment to what sister thinks, or Aunt Karol, or the boy from 5th grade who called you “fat,” or any onlooker who glanced the wrong way in your direction at a park 13 years ago…..but, THAT is NOT my job.  My job is to hold you accountable to the work you SAID you wanted to do.

Let me kick this off by saying, I LOVE my job.  Seeing women step from always being BEHIND the camera, hiding behind a cat/dog/quote card as their social media profile picture, and actually SMILING after a sweaty workout, or nourishing home-cooked meal, or tried-out fitness routine that they believed was TOO HARD for their body…..those things SPARK my fire.  The excitement they feel is contagious.  The belief they grow into continues to drive me to help more and more within my community, The SPICE Confidence Crew.  Their dedication to showing up, even at their FURTHEST-from-perfect moments and OWNING how they feel in a safe space is revolutionary.

Health is NOT easy.  I will say it.  Online personalities and companies and professionals often make it appear otherwise, but it is tough.  Even for someone who has created discipline, aspects of remaining in the BEST of intentions with my own personal health still requires me to sway, ebb, and flow with less-than-great choices (usually food), or half-assing a workout because I am not feeling it, or comparisonitis…..the one thing I ask my clients to do is NOT GIVE UP.

Quitting is the biggest SLAP in the face to anyone’s potential. EVER.  

You guys, I have helped a LOT of people.  I have also watched a LOT of people quit.  One thing my CONTROL-FREAK self had to learn early on is that anytime someone quits, they have not harnessed their personal value deep enough to understand their worth.  Those goals they want, the ones they were inspired by, possibly “motivated” by, and kind-of driven by, GO POOF faster than a dried up moth you find on the floor of your basement as you are trying to clean after a weird-weathered summer….POOF, disintegrated, dust.

Now, I do not take my job as an accountability coach lightly, but I do expect that if someone is going to be a part of our Crew, they show up for THEMSELVES at the level they expect me to show up for them.  Dragging people to the finish line is not any kind of benefit to either of our egos. And, quite frankly,
EGO has no place in this space.

But, while there are many who quit, the ONES who show up, slowly, gradually, more intentionally, hide away a little, but then come back blazing, and smile bigger and bigger with each little sweat-covered proof of a workout accomplished, or new vegetable tried, or water consumed, or smoothie recipe to DIE for….those are my favorite types of clients.  The ones who might fall away for a few weeks, at times, and hide from some of the mindset work that we pursue within the walls of the Crew, but STILL come back SHINING because they have connected the FEEL GOODS with their goals….and they understand THEIR WORTH.

BINGO.

Starting out, I was obsessed with getting to new levels, moving my body and strengthening muscles I had never had, losing inches, pounds, and pant sizes, and the challenge of helping others at the same time DROVE me to become obsessed with figuring out my own version of perfection.  This is a dangerous space to live in for too long, and it did not last.  I have worked with so many women who are no longer in my life.  Seasons.  I used to feel failed for them quitting.  I used to take it personally when they would not show up for themselves.  But, I had to reconfigure how I was showing up, take a hard look at my own personal expectations, and get really in love with my own self worth to realize that my perfectionism was killing my own mojo and theirs.

Everything amazing is on the other side of hard.

Cliche. But, purposeful.  Getting healthier, trying new things, getting outside of perceived comfort, showing up for yourself, investing in your health, joining up with strangers–IT ALL CAN FEEL HARD. Oh, but WOW, how worth it it actually is!  I have made some of the best friends while rocking these little fitness goals, because it was NEVER about the actual workouts or nutrition, but about the GROWTH of us as women locking arms with each other and holding ourselves to a higher standard.  The progress that has happened OFTEN looks like people who are MORE comfortable in their skin than losing a million pounds, and THAT was a weird shift for me, but it taught me that we are actually on the best path to making this whole thing a lifestyle.  Lifestyle is POWERFUL, you guys.  Do not take it for granted.  The Crew members are doing AMAZINGLY TRANSFORMATIVE things in their lives, and it starts at the top (their mind), and works all the way down to their toes!!

So, if you read through this whole thing, already, WHY are you not in our CREW?
PS…I am here to believe in you until you are strong enough to believe in yourself.

Trust, I do.
xo,

Nicky

 

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